I have arthritis in my lower spine
and legs. It seems to come and
go which I think is weird but that's
what the Dr has said it is.
There are days when I can't walk
at all, then I get days where I can
jump around to my fave band on
the CD player (getting injured in
the process)!
I don't let it stop me!
I'm accident prone!
List of accidents:
Shut my toes in the drawer.
Got picked up and thrown in the moshpit.
Rik Waller trod on me in the Manor!
(the fat b#st#rd!)
Fell off my shopping trolley and broke
my chin!
Dropped a ladder on my head.
Got hit in the face with a kite.
Fell in my mother's pond!
Fell in my mother-in-laws pond!
Got so drunk once I fell in a ditch
and couldn't get out till the morning!
A huge lad at the moshpit fell on
me, it was like being sat on by
an elephant.
Same big guy who fell on me,
stepped back and whacked me
into a wall, I got concussion from
that! I wondered why all these
people were in my house!!!
Got a fist in the face from a
Matt Bellamy look-a-like at
the Manor, I was spinning round,
he was holding a bottle of beer,
his fist was stationary but I wasn't!
I got a hug out of it even though
my face was level with his belly
button! He seemed genuinely
worried. Pity he stank of sweat!
Got kicked in the back of the
head with a steel toe capped
platform boot, in the Indie room
of the club, by a girl dancing on
a podium. I went flying across
the floor, mobile phone went
flying too. She then tried to help
me up by grabbing my arm and
pulling me up while standing on
my hair! OUCH!
She didn't know, bless.
Got smacked into by a guy in
the moshpit, splitting open my
bottom lip, I went over backwards
and hit my head on the bar.
I saw blackness for about 3 seconds.
Got hit in the face with a fire
door, two pillocks ran towards
the door and rammed into it
just as I was on the other side!
I had a bruise on my face for ages.
I fell into my bath when I was
standing on the edge of it and
nearly broke my arm!
Lost my footing walking back
from college and went rolling
down the hill!
Got blown over by the wind and
fell on my arse!
Fell out of a taxi.........make that
quite a few taxis!
Fell out of my best friend's car!
Swallowed my plectrum, I now
have to have a scan to see what
damage it may be causing as it
hasn't come out the other end yet!
EDIT: Plectrum has now made it's
own way out after floating about
for almost three years!
I fell asleep with my guitar on my
bed, leaning against the headboard.
It fell over in the night and smacked
me on the head just behind my ear!
Fell asleep with my easel on my
bed, I rolled over in the night,
headbutted it, poked myself in the
eye and got a splinter in my eyebrow.
Was pogoing to System of a Down
in my kitchen, lost my footing and
fell in my dustbin!
Fell over at my friend's house trying
to run away from an exploding firework!
(2004)
Came running in from the garden
to answer the phone, slipped on
the kitchen floor and nearly broke
my hip.
Bloody phone stopped ringing before
I got to it as well!! (how annoying)
Was on webcam to my pal, I was
being a loonatic as usual trying to
make her laugh, had sat sideways
on the chair without realising and
leant back, fell off the chair
backwards with my feet in the air!
She saw the whole thing on camera!!!
I've technically been hit by a train!
Some doofas opened a swing door
on the train as it was coming into
the station, I was standing too close
to the edge of the platform and got
whacked sideways across the floor.
I ended up with a huge bruise all
down one side of my body and my
suitcase burst open!
Was messing about with a
micro-phone and managed to whack
myself in the mouth with it.
Made my lip bleed but not too bad.
Then dropped the micro-phone
on my toe!
Stepped on my own trouser
leg and fell over.
Just recently, was re-stringing a
guitar and nearly lost an eye!
Bloody accoustics!
Art related injury; poked myself in
the eye with a paintbrush!
NEW INJURIES!
Fell over carrying an A1 size sheet
of foamboard across the bridge in
a high wind!
Had a door swing back and hit me in
the face TWICE on the same night
at the Tap'n' Tin.
Got my hands crushed under a
cupboard which prevented me from
playing guitar for at least three
hours (nightmare)!
Had a practice amp dropped on
my legs.
Had a bass guitar hit me really
hard on the top of my head when
the doofahs playing jumped down
from the stage into the crowd.
Had a taylors dummy dropped
on my foot at college.
Fell of a table at college because
I stepped straight out into mid air,
thinking the table was longer than
it was!
Stabbed the roof of my mouth
because I was daft enough to
put a pen in my mouth, forgot
it was there, then went to brush
my hair from my face and
shoved the pen upwards.
Got very squashed on the top
floor of the Tap 'n' Tin and hurt
my knee trying to escape the
insanity of it all!
AND YET AFTER ALL THIS
I STILL LIVE !!!!
HAHAHA
